My boy Jon and I had just finished our bike ride this morning when a funny thing happened. We’re chillin’ by this rest area when two white women ride up. They say hello and one says “Oh, you’re those two guys who just zipped past us…” So I partake in a little small talk with them while Jon is talking to some fellow alums he just met that minute. Then one of the women drops the bomb. Old girl says “Oh my gosh, are you guys twins?!” To which I say “Who? US?!?!?!” She says “yes”. I proceed to tell her that we’re just friends. Then she says “Oh, maybe it’s just that you have the same goatees.” At this point, I’m just like whatever. As you can see, we look nothing alike:
It’s hard to tell from those pictures, but I’m a few shades darker than Jon. We’re almost the same height, but you’d have to be crazy to even think we were brothers, much less twins.
This led me and Jon in to conversation about mistaken identity. He was telling me how was just on a recent trip to the Bahamas where many of the hotel guests thought he was either an athlete or a soap opera star. I’ve had people tell me that I look like Eddie Murphy, Busta Rhymes, and I’ve also heard that I had another twin who was an actor on a soap opera back in the day. But the capper had to be what happened a few years ago while I was on vacation in Maui. We were on one of those dinner cruises and these little kids kept staring at me. Their little eyes were fixed on me like some targeting system. Finally one got the nerve to ask me “are you a pro?” To which I said “a pro what?” He responded “aren’t you a basketball player?” I should have lied and told him I was Ray Allen or somebody, but I just told him no and rolled on. But what I really wanted to do was get all Eddie Murphy (from the Delirious/Raw days) on him and say “What, a normal brotha can’t take a vacation?!?!” 🙂
I won’t even get into all the people that ask me what sport I played immediately after they find out that I went to Stanford. I’d be here all day with that topic.
This is so incredible wack, yet so incredibly common. First lets start from the reasonable to the ridiculous.
1) My brother and I do look related (and we are). However, I think that you would have to be on crack to think that we are twins. People (white folks is particular) have a goatee fixation. Christopher is ~4″ taller than I am and ~40lbs heavier. Plus his face and head are shaped differently than mine. Go figure.
2) I will never forget while I was at Stanford, I was in White Plaza and someone (a white person) said “Hey! You lost this” and handed me a mealcard ID. It was BJ’s! Damn! just another lightskinned Negro! Rathered than go into an explanation, I just said thank you and gave it to BJ later.
3) A doctor of mine told the story that white people would sometimes insist that he was Richard Pryor. Note: HE LOOKED NOTHING LIKE RICHARD PRYOR. He used to argue with them, then finally he started writing them autographs signed, “Fuck you, Richard Pryor.” Small justice.
I am beginning to think it is a lot like Eskimos and snow. Snow is important to them so they have lots of words to make distinctions between different types. Whereas, to a person from the tropics, it is all pretty much the same, white and cold. If a person can’t distinguish between different (types of) Black people, clearly we must not be that important to them.
Sad world.
MoRabb
Michael: Interesting post. I’m just curious, were these white women in the park all giggly and flighty? Were they trying to make conversation with two men and perhaps came up with a lame opener? LOL.
Here is a link to a site that explores the same issue as it relates to Asians:
http://www.alllooksame.com/
he started writing them autographs signed, “Fuck you, Richard Pryor.” Small justice.
Great thread!
PS- tell them you are Harold Ford Jr. in a couple of years they can say they had the honor of meeting the first african american president.
Mike – those women suggesting we might be twins is very silly, but deep. of course, this has been going on since the first Grimaldi man emerged from the caves of europe. It’s very obvious we don’t look like identical or fraternal twins…so either she was completely deranged, or there’s a deeper lesson. no doubt, we don’t have time to elaborate, but people form impressions/judgements so fast, even in a fraction of a second…aka. when a buxom female is in your peripheral view for a femto-second, your brain logs it, and your mind makes you say, “Damn, baby got back” – silly example, primative, but true. why lie?
Anyway, i think most brown, whatever shade, people are basically invisible to the keebler krew, and that to them, we, our identities, etc. don’t really matter. it’s small talk; they’re expressing admiration, fear, confusion, disprespect, bamboozlement…like looking at purple zebra on roller skates.
the harvard biz review (Jan ’04) had an article about how biased people really are, after a critical analysis of some bias test results.
it was a trip, basically, by the test parameters, like 85% of keeblers expressed prejudice toward brown (and women), though only a handful acknowledged their prejudice.
that’s why it’s not really worth our time to engage them with discussion.
holla at the test to get in where YOU fit in.
http://www.tolerance.org/hidden_bias/
Keebler krew? Interesting reference.
Deb,
I guess it’s possible that those women were trying to ‘holler’ but I don’t think that’s likely. We were already engaged in small talk, so a line like that wasn’t necessary. And I’m ashamed to say that I failed that AllLookSame.com test miserably. I only got 6 right. That’s sad for somebody that grew up in one of the most diverse cities in America (Carson, CA.) But even though I may not be able to tell an Asian’s nationality, they (individuals) don’t all look identical to me.
I agree that a line like that was unnecessary. When I asked you what they were like, I was trying to ascertain what “type of white women” they were. I’ve witnessed and known white women who are basically clueless when it comes to anyone non-white. I’ve heard the comments you speak about come out of their mouths. They embarrass me. I have been surrounded by whites my entire life where I’ve noticed anyone non-white doesn’t register on their radar — except for a set of stereotypes they subscribe to without ever making any effort to learn otherwise (first hand). It’s unfortunate. I feel the same frustration because there are people in my family (native am, black, asian, biracial) who have experienced what you describe in addition to all of the stereotypical b.s. so prevalent in this society.
Anyway, just wanted to share…
I can’t tell you how many times my husband has been told he looks like Bob Marley (um, no. Not even close. Though he does have long dreads). Or my personal favorite: black Jesus. Ha! This cracks us up every time it happens, though of course it’s only the sistas who say so, cause white folks just know Jesus couldn’t possibly have been brown.
That’s too funny Mike. You and Jon don’t look remotely alike. Now you and your brother…